… get a new phone. I have a slide phone. I used to have a flip phone, which also drew the same questions. I am not a phone person. I have a land line at home with answering/messaging in place.
I am sick of the questions about my phone. I don’t want a smartphone. I have my little phone for emergencies, not so everyone I know can reach me immediately. I wouldn’t dream of asking people when they are going to get a better TV, newer shoes, a more expensive car, a bigger house, a more expensive handbag. Why is it that people feel the need to shame me about my phone?
It is to the point now that I may turn it off and turn it on only when I want to use it. I envision myself throwing it in the trash can next time someone asks.
– Like The Old Days
DEAR LIKE THE OLD DAYS:
Some people view having the latest model of cellphone as a status symbol, which is why so many feel compelled to buy one as soon as a new one is released.
However, while that dreaded question may be posed in terms of when you plan to buy a new phone, I suspect what the askers really mean is, “When are you going to make it easier for us to communicate with you?” If you shut your phone off and use it only when you wish to use it, you won’t be alone in the practice. While it may frustrate those who want immediate gratification, it will allow you to manage your time without unwelcome interruptions.
Last night my wife and I, both retired medical doctors, met our daughter “Jackie,” her wife, “Kelly,” and Jackie’s daughter for dinner at a restaurant to celebrate Jackie’s 50th birthday. Kelly had called a couple of weeks ago to invite us.
My wife and I pay the check when we meet Jackie and her family to eat, which is usually brunch on Sunday, but because Kelly invited us, we were unsure whether we should last night. (Our son gets upset if we offer to pay in similar circumstances.) My wife asked Kelly at the table if we could pay for our dinners. We had already presented Jackie with a birthday card with a check for $1,000 enclosed.
Jackie texted us today, incensed that we did not pick up the check. Should we have? Jackie is a Ph.D. and makes a comfortable living. Her wife is an Ivy League graduate.
– Baffled In The South
Your daughter’s manners are appalling. Her wife invited you and your wife to the dinner, which made you HER guests. If apologies are in order, the people who should receive them are you and your wife.
I’ve been invited to go away with my son’s family, and I don’t want to do it. I have done it before, and it never goes well because of my son’s mouth. I think he may have an anger issue, but if I say anything to him about it, he gets angry. I can’t tolerate his language, and he says he can’t change.
I want to be with my grandchildren, but his mouth and his attitude make me uncomfortable. I told him I was sorry I couldn’t go and why. He says his family is happy, and I should just let it roll off, but I feel I have a right not to be subjected to a week of constant cursing. It feels abusive. Am I wrong?
– Wishing It Were Different
If the bad language is directed at another person, it IS abusive and disrespectful. If it is used as an adjective, it is “merely” grating and unpleasant. A vacation is supposed to be a time to relax and enjoy oneself. Because you feel your son’s language is so bad it would prevent you from doing that, you should not subject yourself to it.