Following a tragedy, we need honesty

As the tragedy of Nolan Wells' death continues to dominate the news, there are so many unanswered questions. Perhaps the most significant one is what his grieving parents shared in a recent interview with "Good Morning America's" Michael Strahan. Why did their 18-year-old son separate from his friends during their July 4 trip to Horn Island, a barrier island off the Mississippi Gulf Coast? Nolan's father, Elmore Wonsley, told Strahan, "We always taught him that if you go with a group, you stay with a group. If you go with five, you come back with five. Do not separate from the group. Because I always said, 'Safety is in numbers.' So he knew to stay with this group, so why would he split from (them)?" This question echoes what parents of my generation always told us as teenagers. Not being left behind by our friends on a trip, or even a simple outing to the mall in those days, was firmly entrenched in our minds. For some reason, Nolan didn't stay with his friends, and his body was found in the water two days later after he had gone missing. The Jackson County Sheriff's Office is investigating Nolan's case as a death and not a homicide, but his parents are conducting their own private investigation in search of answers, even though authorities believe Nolan may have drowned. Since Nolan was a Black teen in a White friend group, race has also intensified the national commentary surrounding him. As soon as I saw photos of him and his friends on a boat, I knew this was coming. Many comments that I have seen on Black publications on social media have largely been negative, expressed in anger and suspicion regarding Nolan's relationship with his White peers. Some statements that were particularly disheartening were posts claiming that Black kids should avoid having White friends. Now, being a native Black Georgian who grew up in the 1970s and '80s, I understand the lingering fear that many Southern African Americans have regarding their child being the "only Black kid" in a friend group or student organization. And the fact that Nolan was a young Black male who died in Mississippi brings to mind the horrors of the Magnolia State's tormenting racial history. I also saw a lot of conversations regarding "White spaces" and the belief that these social settings present a danger to Black teens. This made me recall how specific social "spaces" were integrated when I was in high school in the mid-to-late '80s. Black students who played a sport, who were in the band or who were on the cheerleading squad had White friends. I was in the band and established meaningful friendships with several of my White bandmates, but our social interaction was mostly limited to school activities. The Black community had their debutante balls and youth groups, while White parents had country club events for their children. However, as far as the band was concerned, my mother and other Black parents were fine with our away-game trips for football and our out-of-state trips to Florida because other Black kids were present. Looking back, I wish we could have hung out more with our White classmates with opportunities to go to the movies or worship together in church on Sunday mornings, but racial and social boundaries were still in place that our parents didn't feel comfortable pushing. I believe that this was largely due to their coming of age during segregation in the 1950s and '60s, and also that many of them did not associate with Whites outside of work. Very few Black and White families got to know each other and became closely acquainted. With the ongoing investigation into Nolan's death, I pray not only that his parents find out what happened to him but that we can have some honest discussions about not judging others through the lens of race. Nolan's parents shared that he had a "generous" personality and always wanted "everyone to be included." Race provides no indication of one's true character, and I am reminded of Proverbs 20:27, which teaches that God looks into our conscience to determine our intentions, thoughts and integrity, and in Mark 7:20-23, Jesus explains that what defiles someone comes from within the heart, whether that is "theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, (or) deceit." Thus, we should not determine our friendships, nor those of our children, by the color of one's skin but rather by what constitutes a person's spirit. Dr. Jessica A. Johnson is a lecturer in the English department at Ohio State University's Lima campus. Email her at smojc.jj@gmail.com.