What part of your brain is in charge?

We have discussed brain health in this column before, particularly my favorite part: the pre-frontal cortex. It is the part right behind our forehead and controls insight, judgment and impulse control. Daniel Amen calls it the "Jiminy Cricket" part of the brain for those of us who like "Pinocchio!" This rational part of our brain doesn't help explain what happens when our emotions take over. The Amygdala, or animal part of the brain, is in the very center back of our heads, very difficult to get to, and controls our fear responses: freeze, flee or fight. Most confrontations occur when we are in discussion with persons who are using this part of their brains. All of us, if we are honest with ourselves, have had times in our lives when the part of the brain called the Amygdala took over. Sometimes it was the needed response if we were being attacked, fighting in a war or even participating in some sports activities. I know a wrestler who used to work himself up so he could get the winning pin in the first few seconds of a match, once even breaking an opponent's arm! Many persons have had these anger reactions when watching some of the recent violence on television. The challenge is how to get our thinking brain to regain and maintain control unless we truly are physically threatened. There are three parts to a stress response: cognitive, physiological and behavioral. And there are several ways to calm this down. A simple first step is to practice controlled breathing: breathe in to the count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold empty to the count of 4. This points your brain in another direction (counting and focusing on breath) and gives the prefrontal cortex time to engage. Another way to calm yourself down is simply to take a walk. Again, this focuses the brain on another activity, and that can help calm down the entire nervous system. When you are in a discussion with someone who is becoming more animated or illogical, it is important to keep your hands visible so that they see you have no weapons. This may seem silly in a heated discussion, but the animal brain does not see it that way. Angle your body slightly away from the other person so there is no sense of going "toe to toe." Verbally reflect back to the person what you are hearing them say. Hearing their own words come back may help deescalate the situation. Finally, we teach folks learning deescalation techniques to validate the struggle and then repair the belief. If we think about recent conflicts we have seen on the news, the racial struggles in our country are very real, and that is easy to validate. Not all police officers are racist, in fact the vast majority are not. But when someone is acting from their Amygdala, they are not able to reason and unable to acknowledge this fact. Acknowledge the struggle. Only when they have calmed down can they be redirected and this irrational belief discussed in a calm manner. In no way is the violence our country has seen recently excusable. But the first step in changing behavior is in understanding it. Perhaps with a little education on the topic and better training we can all be more understanding and then help to foster the changes we all need to make for a safer and healthier world. May your pre-frontal cortex lead the way! Nancy Stephani, LISW-S, DCSW MAC, is an outpatient therapist at Firelands Counseling and Recovery Center in Fostoria and Fremont, and on professional staff at The Ohio State University at Lima.