Popping the pop music bubble

"I used to be 'with it.' Then they changed what 'it' was." — Abraham "Grandpa" Simpson No one likes to be told that they are out of touch. But what's worse, I've discovered, is when no one has to tell you. Recently, while flipping through the FM radio dial, I stumbled upon a top 40 pop station. Basically, everything on the station is a hit right now. It's all current. I didn't recognize any of the songs. And beyond that, I didn't recognize the singers. Granted, I didn't listen for too long, maybe 10 minutes. If I'd listened for just a little longer, I'm sure I'd have stumbled upon a Taylor Swift song. Pretty sure she has to — by federal law — be played every 15 minutes. Now, this is not going to be a column decrying the state of popular music. Unlike Grandpa Simpson, I can't claim to have ever been "with it." The closest was in the late 1980s, when my mother would play Light Rock 106.5 out of Cleveland. It played a few oldies, but mainly, it was an adult contemporary station. Honestly, it could have been called the Phil Collins station. But at least, in the late 1980s, he was current in pop. So were Huey Lewis and the News and Madonna. Once, when Culture Club came on the station, I asked my mother what happened to Boy George. "I think he took his money and ran," she said. This was 1988, just a few years after Culture Club's peak. Even as a child, I realized fame — and success in pop music — could be fleeting. On Light Rock 106.5, you couldn't go 10 minutes without hearing Peter Cetera singing about the Glory of Love, or Mike and the Mechanics needing a miracle. When I think of the old station now, I also remember a prediction a disc jockey made in 1990, after a song called "Vision of Love" was played by a then-newcomer. "Remember this woman's name, she's gonna be around for a while," he said. "Oh, yeah right, how can he know that," I thought. Even at 10, I was cynical about pop stars lasting more than six months. The DJ was talking about Mariah Carey. So, with that in mind, I decided to listen to the pop station on XM while I was at work. Maybe the artists I didn't know anything about would be icons in 30 years. (Note: I was told by my more "with it" editors that some of these songs are a few years old. Ah, well.) Here are the first nine songs that came on: • "Diamonds," by Sam Smith. I think the last time I listened to Sam Smith, it was to hear just how badly they'd ripped off Tom Petty's "Won't Back Down" with their song "Stay With Me." Badly, as it turned out. Nonetheless, I didn't mind the track. Smith has a great voice and the song has a catchy beat. • "Forget Me Too," by Machine Gun Kelly/Halsey. Didn't get it. Found myself waiting for a hook that never came. • "Year 3,000," by Jonas Brothers. Next. • "Go Crazy," by Chris Brown/Young Thug. Not sure there can be a cancel culture if Brown hasn't been canceled yet. Let's move on. • "Willow," by Taylor Swift. Swift is super-talented. But honestly, the only track of hers I really liked was "You Belong With Me." Again, can't deny her talent, but her music has never done much for me. This song didn't, either. • "Blinding Lights," by The Weeknd. Catchy and energetic. I liked it. • "Wonder," by Sean Mendes. This was the definition of background music to me. I felt like I should be picking out oranges at a Kroger listening to this. • "Anyone," by Justin Bieber. Call me when he wins a Cy Young like Shane. • "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran. Not bad. Might like it more after I've heard it a few more times. Yeah, so maybe pop music has passed me by. It doesn't mean it's bad. It's just not for me. And that's OK. Maybe I was with it in 1989, but it's not 1989 anymore. Except for on 106.5 in Cleveland. According to its website, it only plays '70s, '80s, '90s and 2000s music now. Gotta stick with what works. Which might be a good rule for me, and pop. Baker is sports editor for The Courier and the Fostoria Review Times.