When is it ok to use your cancer card?

A diagnosis of cancer brings about a rush of different emotions. ... One of those feelings can be loss, loss of control. Your nice, orderly life has been completely turned upside down. Your days are now filled with doctors' appointments, lab work, scans, and treatments. And on top of all that, those treatments are causing fatigue. So, you have a busier schedule and less energy to get it all accomplished. Allow me to officially give you permission: USE YOUR "CANCER CARD." Yup, I said it! Well, technically since I typed it in all caps, I yelled it. You probably do not want to admit it ... but you need to be cut some slack. You are going through a difficult time in your life physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is OK to take a break. Are you tired? Take a nap. You are allowed. Treatment is zapping your body of its energy. Sleep restores that energy. Do not feel like cooking dinner? Eat a bowl of cereal. It is OK. You do not have to eat a healthy, well-balanced meal every night, and neither does your family. Just eating something might be all you can manage that day, and your friends or family members can assist with the rest. You do not need to justify it to anyone, because you are holding the "cancer card." You can also use the "cancer card" with friends and family. Ask them for help. Wouldn't it be nice if someone could go to the grocery store for you? Give your list to your friend and send them on their way while you lay down and rest. Allow your family to fix you a healthy snack. Your friends and family WANT to help you. Some of them do not know how to help you. Tell them. It's OK, you have "the card." Grass is getting long; your sidewalks need shoveled ... so ask a neighbor. They will be GLAD you asked and that there is something they can do to help. What about a fellow church member? They like to help, too. Let them wash your dishes, vacuum your floors, take your dog for a walk, etc. There are plenty of people in your life that would like to pitch in and make your life a little easier, now. Cash in "that card." Ask for the help. A cancer diagnosis doesn't come with many gifts. Your "cancer card" is one of them. USE IT! I know it is hard to be vulnerable. We want to be able to take care of ourselves and not feel like we are burdening anyone else. Guess what, people do not know what else to do or say so they want to help you with your "burdens." Think of it this way, allowing someone to help you is giving them the gift of service. You are actually giving them a gift. And, if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want to be able to do anything to help your friend, family member, neighbor, or church member? The people in your life love you and want to support you! So take that "cancer card" out and start using it! (Though there may not be an actual "cancer card", Cancer Patient Services offers our clients "Free Passes" to our Healing Arts Programming which include massages, Reiki, nutrition classes, meditation, and art classes. Call us at 419-423-0286 for more information.) Metzger is CEO of Cancer Patient Services.