A strong and gentle man

Roger and I made our usual trip to the South earlier this month to celebrate his father's birthday, July 4. This year was Ralph's 97th. An Arkansas farm boy in a family of seven children with little means, he worked hard alongside his siblings and later served heroically in Germany during World War II; returned at war's end to marry his sweetheart, the strikingly beautiful Frances; became a father of three; earned his Ph.D. from LSU then popularity and respect as a university professor; and retired as a successful executive in an international agricultural business. My introduction to Dr. Fell began when I met Roger and his younger sister, Nancy, in college, Southern Arkansas University (South State College then). The three of us became fast friends, and I was privileged to visit their home often. Stories about their father abound, but a few ordinary details capture him for me. When Roger and his sisters were quite young, their father would bring a warm, moist cloth to rub their face and eyes gently to ease their waking. When he made breakfast, he would always fry their eggs just the way they liked — no lacy edges for the girls, lots of crispiness for Roger. Even now, when we gather in his home, he spends the first evening we are there preparing brisket sandwiches just the way each person prefers. The next day of our visit, between breakfast and lunch, the whir of his famous ice cream in the making signals goodness in its many manifestations to us. We do help. But he is clearly in charge and takes pleasure in providing for us. As his beloved wife, Grammy to us, weakened in her final years, he cared for her with steadfast patience and attention. He would wheel her in her chair through the house after he had made the bed, vacuumed, mopped, and washed dishes. She would comment if she saw a bed corner not sharply folded military-style. He laughed when he told us this story. It remains clear that he counted it a privilege to be the one chosen to care for her. Sixteen adult grandchildren, great-grandchildren multiplying at a clip, he has been called Granddaddy for some time now by everyone in the family. Each Christmas for decades, we have listened to Granddaddy read to the children gathered around his feet the story of the Christ child born to bring light to the world. It is clear to us that it is that light that animates his days and some long nights. These days, he gets dizzy when he stands or turns too quickly. He called me a few days ago and laughed with great pleasure when he bragged about how well we had bandaged his arm when he took a tumble during our visit. He had just removed the bandage and could not believe how well it had already healed. He wanted to let me know that he is doing much better now that he knows to avoid quick turning — laughing again, that famous deep laugh. When his doctor suggested that he use a walker, he explained that he is now using one in the house when he first stands up from his chair but the walker gets in the way when he is picking peas from his garden. Nothing in his voice, his carriage, or his laugh indicates fear of death though he is fully aware that it will come. When it does, the light of Christ will see him through. Fell is president of the University of Findlay.