Woman has problems making friends

Dear Annie: My mother died when I was 5, and I grew up in a very abusive childhood — abuse in every sense of the word. I'm still traumatized over my childhood and I am now 65.I ended up in what I thought was a great relationship in my early 20s and thought he loved me. I ended up getting pregnant, and he wanted no part of it. He left, and I was a single mom. I absolutely loved being a mom and vowed to be the parent I always wished I had. My daughter is now grown, with a teenager of her own. I cherish the time I get to spend with them.My issue is that I am very lonely and wish I had someone in my life. I, however, have no desire to be in another relationship. I work part-time and joined the local senior center, but with my job, I can't participate like I would like to. My daughter is very busy with her life, and although she lives near me, I don't get to see them as much as I want to. I have a lot of difficulty making friends and have trust issues. What do I do to ease the loneliness? Lonely in NY Dear Lonely: Congratulations on becoming the parent that you wish you had. That is no easy feat! Both your daughter and your grandchild will get to reap the benefits of all that hard work.Now that you're an empty nester, you have time to focus on things that make YOU happy. It sounds like your time is limited due to your job, but getting involved in a club, picking up a new hobby, or joining a church or other religious organization could add fulfillment to your life and introduce you to like-minded people. There's no need to rush into a relationship or a friendship you're not ready for, but you might be pleasantly surprised by the people you meet.A good therapist will be able to help you work through your trust issues as you begin to form new relationships. Dear Annie: I ran into an unexpected soup situation recently and would like your advice on what the proper thing to do would've been. My sister flew cross-country recently to visit my mom and me, and my mom spent hours making a delicious soup so my sister would have a hot meal ready when she arrived. My mom is a great cook. Unfortunately, as we all scooped bowls of soup and sat down to eat, we noticed that a small brush used for cleaning bottle parts had fallen into the soup and possibly cooked with the soup for a while. My sister and I were pretty put off, but we could tell my mom would be heartbroken if we had refused to eat it. What would you have done? Soup Conundrum Dear Soup Conundrum: It's obvious you and your sister wanted to prioritize your mother's feelings ahead of your own discomfort, which I'm sure she appreciated in this moment of embarrassment. Awkward situations are well diffused with a touch of humor to lighten the mood. Removing the brush and reheating the soup until it was safe enough to eat again could've struck the right balance between being kind to your mother and honest about your uneasiness. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.