Know how to spot dating violence

Dating violence is more common than you may think, especially among teens and young adults — 1 in 3 U.S. teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before becoming an adult. Up to 87% of dating violence occurs at school; only 67% of adolescents who are abused in a relationship will tell someone; up to 80% of abused girls will keep dating their partner; and nearly half (43%) of U.S. college women report experiencing violent or abusive dating behaviors. Dating abuse is a pattern of coercive, intimidating, or manipulative behaviors used to exert power and control over a partner. While we define dating violence as a pattern, that does not mean the first instance of abuse is not also dating violence; we simply recognize that dating violence tends to involve a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time. What to look for: Relationships exist on a spectrum and it can sometimes be hard to tell when a behavior goes from healthy to unhealthy (or even abusive). Typical warning signs of abuse from your partner include, but are not limited to, the following: • Checking your phone, email or social media accounts without your permission • Putting you down frequently, especially in front of others • Isolating you from friends or family (physically, financially, or emotionally) • Extreme jealousy or insecurity • Explosive outbursts, temper, or mood swings • Any form of physical harm • Possessiveness or controlling behavior • Pressuring you or forcing you to have sexual intercourse Relationship abuse is all about power and control. While you may be unwilling or unable to leave your relationship right now, it is important to remember that abusive partners are unlikely to change their behavior. Dating violence comes in many different forms such as physical violence, sexual violence (to include unwanted sexual touching), psychological aggression, emotional abuse, stalking, and even digital abuse. The impacts of teen dating violence can be severe and have long-lasting effects. Victims of teen dating violence are more likely to experience symptoms of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. They are also more likely to participate in risky sexual behaviors, exhibit antisocial behaviors (such as lying, stealing, bullying, and/or assaulting others), and using substances such as tobacco, alcohol and drugs as coping tools. Victims of teen dating violence are also at a higher risk of experiencing a lifetime of re-victimization. We at the Hancock County Prosecutor's Office, and our Victim Witness Division, encourage the development of healthy, nonviolent, and respectful relationships. We also encourage parents to work with their children on what healthy respectful relationships look like, and advocate for open communications between parents and their children. This year we would like to help promote Love is Respect's theme for Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (https://www.loveisrespect.org/get-involved/tdvam/), "Respect That." The Love is Respect Youth Council defines respect as both an action and a mindset — it's about "treating partners with dignity, listening to their viewpoints, respecting their boundaries, and valuing their individuality." Practicing respect as an action can transform relationships and end dating abuse before it happens. If you feel that you or someone you know may be the victim of teen dating violence, please reach out to the Hancock County Sheriff's Office at 419-422-2424 or the Findlay Police Department at 419-424-7150 to report this violence. There are also local and national resources you can reach out to for information as well as assistance in navigating your healing journey. • Open Arms of Findlay: located at 401 W. Sandusky St. in Findlay; www.openarmsfindlay.com (web chat available M-F 10a-4p); 24 hour hotline 419-422-4766 and a text line 419-909-3337, available M-F 10a-4p. They also offer individual in person appointments (if under the age of 18 they do offer one appointment before needing to obtain permission from a parent or guardian). • The Center for Safe and Healthy Children, located at 201 Merriweather Dr. in Findlay; 419-425-1475; www.hancocksafechildren.org. • Love is Respect: www.loveisrespect.org. • Human Options: https://humanoptions.org. • Stop the Hurt, a project of HCWC: www.stopthehurt.org. • The Teen Project: www.choosecourage.org • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-787-3224 (TTY), or 1-800-799-7233. Sean Abbott is Hancock County prosecutor, and Jessica Leeth and Hannah Hassan are victim advocate director and victim advocate at the prosecutor's office, respectively.