Friendship feels one-sided

Dear Annie: My best friend, "Sarah," and I have been close since college, but lately, our friendship feels one-sided. She's going through a rough time; she broke up with her boyfriend, she hates her job and she's been struggling with anxiety. I've been there for her every step of the way, listening to her vent, offering advice and checking in on her regularly. But when I need support, she's nowhere to be found.Last week, I had a really stressful situation at work and tried to talk to her about it. She changed the subject back to her ex before I could even finish my sentence. This happens all the time. Whenever I bring up something in my life, she either ignores it or gives a quick response before shifting the focus back to her problems. I understand she's struggling, but I'm starting to feel like an emotional dumping ground rather than a friend.I don't want to abandon her, but sometimes I wonder if she really cares about me or if she just wants someone to listen to her. Is this something I should wait out? Say something? Let the friendship die? Feeling Used Feeling Used: Friendships aren't always 50/50, but over time, they should be somewhat balanced out.It does sound like Sarah is going through a lot right now. She might be so wrapped up in her own problems that she isn't even aware of how her behavior is impacting you. It's time to tell her how you feel. She might be mortified and change her ways. Or she might brush you off and carry on as usual. You'll either gain back a friendship or a whole lot of time. Dear Annie: My dad and I have always had a complicated relationship. He's a good man and a hard worker, but he was never the warm or affectionate type. Growing up, I felt like nothing I did was ever good enough for him. Now that I'm in my 30s, I've accepted that he's not going to change, but I still struggle with how to interact with him.When we talk, our conversations are surface-level - sports, the weather, work. If I try to open up about my life, he sort of shuts down or changes the subject. I know he cares in his own way, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll always be a disappointment to him.I don't want to stop trying with him, but I also don't want to keep chasing a relationship that isn't there. Is there a way to build a better connection, or do I just need to accept the relationship for what it is? Still Searching for Dad's Approval Dear Still Searching: Instead of expecting deep conversations, try meeting him where he is. If he's comfortable talking about sports or work, engage in those topics while slipping in little bits about your life or questions about his.Maybe he'll open up with time, but if he doesn't, remember that his approval doesn't define your value. It's easier said than done, but with practice and, ideally, the help of a good therapist, you will realize how true it is. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com