Grandma heartbroken over lost relationship with grandkids

Dear Annie: I formed a close bond with my former daughter-in-law when she married my son. Even after their divorce - due to his addiction and abuse - she and the kids lived with us for a while, and we remained close. Over the years, I supported her through abusive relationships, helped care for the children and was always there when she needed help.But things changed. She became secretive, and the children started telling me troubling things - being left alone for days, going hungry, being told not to involve me. When I stepped in to help, she cut me off emotionally. Now, one grandchild has distanced themselves completely, and the other moved away without warning. I've heard she's told lies about me, but I don't know what to believe.I'm heartbroken. I love my grandchildren deeply and don't understand what went wrong. Is there anything I can do to rebuild a relationship with them, or do I need to accept the loss and hope they'll understand my love someday? Missing Them in Silence Dear Missing: You opened your home and heart to your daughter-in-law and grandchildren in their time of greatest need. You stood by them through addiction, abuse, instability and fear. That speaks volumes about your character and your love.Unfortunately, love and loyalty don't always guarantee the relationships we hope for. It sounds like your former daughter-in-law may still be struggling with poor judgment, emotional instability or unresolved trauma. When people don't face their issues, they often rewrite the past to suit their narrative - and blame those who try to hold up a mirror.Your grandchildren are caught in the middle. They may be repeating what they've been told, or they may be confused and hurt themselves. Keep the door open with love, not guilt. Reach out on birthdays and holidays. Let your grandchildren know you're here when they're ready. You may not get the reunion you long for right now, but your quiet, steady love will not be forgotten.And in the meantime, be proud of what you gave. It mattered. Dear Annie: Our group has someone who is an incredibly kind and thoughtful person, but she just can't seem to be on time no matter what the occasion. For a long time, it was frustrating. We'd wait, adjust plans and sometimes even feel a little disrespected, even though we knew it wasn't intentional.Recently, I came across the term "time blindness," and it was a real eye-opener. It's a concept that describes the difficulty some people have with perceiving and managing time - often linked to ADHD or other neurodivergent conditions. Once I learned more about it, things started to click. It helped me shift from irritation to empathy, and I now try to support her in ways that are kind but still respect everyone's time.If you're dealing with someone like this, it's worth looking into. Understanding what might be going on beneath the surface can really change how you approach the situation - and the person. Could be ADHD Dear Could Be: Thank you for your letter. I am printing it hoping it helps others understand similar friends. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com