Mom wants to protect son's resting place

Dear Annie: The town I live in is trying to cut expenses by having amateurs handle the mowing and weed-whacking at our local cemetery. Last year, the professional landscapers left gouge marks on the lower stone of my son's grave. We were charged for perpetual care when he was buried, so I was upset by this.Now, I'm even more concerned. The city is considering letting untrained workers take over the upkeep. My son's gravestone was custom-made by an artist who is now deceased. It features a beautiful nature scene, and if it gets damaged, I won't be able to replace it.To make matters worse, a recent newspaper article mentioned that if any damage occurs, residents won't be able to sue the city. I'm at a loss. Do you have any ideas on how to deal with this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. A Grieving Parent Dear Grieving Parent: Your first step should be to look into what exactly the "perpetual care" you paid for includes. If the cemetery accepted payment for it, they have an ongoing obligation to maintain your son's plot at a certain standard.If you haven't already, contact the cemetery management directly or the city department in charge of these changes and ask what their plan is to prevent damage under the new staff. Maybe these workers have more training than it seems. Cost-cutting is fine, so long as the frequency and quality of the upkeep doesn't fall to the wayside.You can also ask to be notified before any work is done so you can keep tabs on it. Some families even maintain plots themselves to ensure they're cared for their way (talk to the staff about this first, though). Don't be afraid to use your voice - advocating for proper care honors not only your son's memory, but the memory of so many others. Dear Annie: My oldest son recently got married. As the mother of the groom, I was responsible for the rehearsal dinner but had little say in the wedding or reception. The bride and groom arranged the seating, placing my sister-in-law and her family on the bride's side. Days later, my SIL called my husband, expressing hurt and feeling disrespected by their seating. Despite efforts to reach out, share wedding photos and focus on the joy of the invite (since I was only allowed a small number of invites), she now refuses to speak to us. Should I try to mend the relationship or accept it as a lesson learned and move on without her? Help Dear Help: There's only so much you can do here - and it sounds like you've already done it. Your SIL is holding you responsible for a decision that wasn't even yours. If you explain that to her and she still chooses to stay upset, that's on her. You've done what you could, and now it's time to accept what you can't control. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com