When screen time interferes with family time

Dear Annie: I've been married to my husband, "David," for nine years. We have two kids, ages 7 and 4. Lately, I've been struggling with how much time he spends on his phone. Every night after dinner, instead of helping with bedtime or talking with me, David disappears into the garage or sits on the couch playing online poker. I've brought it up more than once, but he just says he needs to "unwind."Last week, our daughter even said, "Daddy, get off your phone!" That broke my heart. I work full-time as a nurse and manage most of the household chores and parenting. I don't mind him relaxing, but I want him to be present for our family — not just physically, but mentally, too.How do I approach this without it turning into another argument? Feeling Like a Single Parent in Knoxville Dear Feeling Single: Phone addiction is a real thing, especially with things like gaming, online gambling and social media. If he insists on using screen time to "unwind," talk to him about setting some phone-free times; family dinners should certainly be one of them. The key is to propose concrete changes rather than vague requests.If he brushes you off again, consider counseling — either as a couple or on your own to help you navigate this. You deserve support. Dear Annie: My mother has always been a challenging person — very critical and negative — but it has gotten worse since my father passed in 2019. I have an older brother who abused me since childhood and then disowned my mother when she wouldn't give him control of all her money. Now I'm all she has.She refuses to go out, meet people, etc. She calls me 10-20 times a day and every conversation is a litany of complaints and criticisms. I tell her frequently that I can't stand all the negativity, but instead of making an effort to stop, she plays the guilt card and tells me how terrible her life is and how all she does is sit alone and cry! She is turning 90 this year and is in great health after surviving Stage 4 cancer in her 60s. Thank God my father left her well taken care of. Yet, despite this, all she sees are clouds.How do I continue to care for my mother without letting her make my life as dark as she sees hers? Dutiful Son Dear Dutiful Son: As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. You can offer your mother your support, but it's up to her whether she'll accept it and try to climb out of the hole she feels stuck in. You don't have to sacrifice your peace to shoulder all her burdens — that's not your job, and it's not fair. Set limits where you need to. That might mean reducing the number of calls you take a day, ending draining conversations or gently changing the subject when she starts on a tangent. Your mother is lucky to have you, and it's clear how much you care. Just don't forget to care for yourself, too.It's also worth mentioning that, based on what you've shared here, your mother may be depressed. Her physical health might be in great shape, but her mental health clearly needs attention. A good first step is encouraging her to see a doctor, who can help identify what's impacting her mindset so much and ways to help treat it. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com