Furniture, family and boundaries

Dear Annie: My husband and I recently agreed to sell our old lounge furniture, since we're in the process of buying a new set. We made the decision together, so I assumed we'd also agree on who it would be sold to.He later called to say he found a buyer, which I was happy to hear — until he added a twist. The buyer would be paying in monthly installments. When I asked if the person was reliable, he dropped the bomb: "It's my daughter."He went on to explain that he noticed the lounge set at his ex-wife's house (where his daughter lives) needed upgrading, so he decided to sell our old one to her — without discussing it with me first. He said that even though we agreed to sell it, that didn't mean I had any say in who it went to.I told him I didn't feel comfortable with this. To me, it feels like crossing a boundary. That furniture was part of our shared home, and I'm struggling with the idea that it's now going to his ex-wife's house, even indirectly.I'm 57 years old and feeling blindsided. Am I overreacting? Or is this something I should be concerned about? Confused Wife Dear Confused Wife: You are not overreacting. You are responding to feeling left out of a decision that involved your shared home.You and your husband agreed to sell the furniture, and it is understandable that you expected to have a say in where it would go. Learning it was offered to his daughter, who lives with his ex-wife, without your input naturally brought up some feelings.This is not about blaming your stepdaughter. She may have a real need and likely had no idea it would cause tension. You have every reason to treat her with kindness and goodwill, especially if she is trying to build a relationship with you.Still, your husband should have talked with you before making the offer. Respect and communication are essential in any marriage, especially when extended family is involved.You were right to speak up. Now focus on having a calm, honest conversation with your husband so you can both move forward with mutual understanding. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com