A father's love and his daughter's demands

Dear Annie: My husband will be 60 on his next birthday, and despite having asthma, he's in very good shape. Our daughter is 27 and doesn't manage her finances or life very well. She recently asked my husband to help her move as he has done four times previously. He agreed, even though it was just the two of them moving everything. The new apartment is up three flights of stairs and they moved her in on a 98-degree day. It took several hours, and he did not get home until after 10 p.m. I feel this was thoughtless and completely selfish of our daughter. She is frequently inconsiderate, and she made this request two days before the move. My husband is a great dad, but I feel he needs to set some boundaries with our daughter. I voiced that I felt her request wasn't reasonable. He made it clear that if she asks in the future, he will move her again. I'm concerned that she will continue to use him until he drops. We mostly hear from her only when she needs something. Am I out of line to ask her to hire someone to move her in future? Used Up in Texas Dear Used Up: You're not out of line. Your daughter is closer to 30 than 20, which means at this point, she should be taking care of moving on her own, or hiring help if she needs it. But as long as your husband keeps saying yes, she never will.Instead of confronting your daughter, talk to your husband again. Let him know that you're worried about his well-being and that by picking up the pieces whenever your daughter needs it, he's not really helping — he's enabling. Now's the time to give her a little tough love. If he insists on being involved in her future moves, encourage him to take care of himself first and set boundaries, meaning shorter moving days with limits on what he lifts and plenty of advance notice. Dear Annie: My longtime boyfriend and I are mature adults. My problem is that he insists on eating all of his home-cooked meals in bed. Imagine cooking a beautiful dinner and your partner refuses to eat at the table, instead loading up a bowl of food and eating in bed while glued to the TV. There is no conversation because he might "miss" something on TV. Meanwhile, I sit on a stool balancing my plate on my lap to dine with him. After going to all of the work to make a nice dinner, I then have to dine and clean up the kitchen by myself while he's glued to the boob tube! On the rare occasion that he actually sits at the table to eat, he complains, even though there's a TV in the dining room that he watches while eating. He's very capable of sitting at a table and dining as he does when we go out to eat or go to friends' homes. Oddly enough, if he sees someone dining alone, he'll feel sorry for them. However, dining alone is what I'm forced to do in our home. What should I do about this? The Lone Diner Dear Lone Diner: This isn't just about your boyfriend choosing to eat in bed; it's about him prioritizing his comfort and preferences over connecting and spending quality time with you. You've sacrificed what you want to accommodate him, meanwhile he hasn't had to lift a finger. You deserve to feel valued and appreciated in your relationship; you are this man's partner after all, not his waitress. Tell your boyfriend directly that you want to eat dinner together, starting with two or three nights a week, totally uninterrupted, at the dining table, no TV allowed. If he's not willing to meet you halfway and grant you this very small ask, it may be time to stop cooking for two. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.