Ghosted at the dinner table

Dear Annie: I recently hosted a small dinner party at my home for a few close friends — just six of us, gathered around the table for what I hoped would be a relaxing evening of good food and conversation. I spent the day preparing a nice meal, setting the table with care and making sure everything felt warm and welcoming. But one guest, my friend "Carla," spent most of the night glued to her phone.She scrolled through social media during appetizers, texted throughout the main course and even stepped away from the table twice to take calls. When she was at the table, she barely looked up or joined the conversation. At one point, we were all laughing about a shared memory, and she looked up, confused, and asked what we were talking about - because she had missed the entire story while watching a video.It made me feel invisible in my own home. Everyone else noticed, too, but no one said anything. I didn't want to call her out and make things awkward, but I was disappointed and honestly hurt. I had worked hard to create a warm atmosphere, and her behavior felt disrespectful.This isn't the first time Carla has done this. Even on coffee dates, she often checks her phone constantly. I understand needing to stay available in case of an emergency or a quick check-in with family, but this felt excessive and dismissive.Is there a kind but honest way to bring it up without starting an argument or sounding like a scold? I value our friendship, but I also value feeling seen and respected. Feeling Second to a Screen Dear Second to a Screen: Your frustration is justified. There's nothing wrong with expecting a guest to be present — especially when you've gone out of your way to create a warm, welcoming evening.The next time you invite Carla, try setting expectations up front. A simple, "Let's make it a phone-free evening so we can all really connect," gets the message across without confrontation. If she can't respect that, maybe she's not the right fit for your dinner table. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com