For some, Christmas is not merry and bright

FINDLAY — For some people, there is no sparkle in the holidays. Instead, it can feel lonely and stressful because of grief, loss or illness. Attending a Blue Christmas or Longest Night service may help, said Amber Wolfrom, adult prevention specialist with Family Resource Center. A Blue Christmas service is a church service held around the winter solstice to acknowledge their feelings and find comfort in a supportive community rather than focusing solely on traditional Christmas cheer. It essentially offers a safe place to "not be okay" during a time when societal pressure is to be joyful, she explained. "The brain treats loss like a loss. It doesn't matter what it is. And the holidays can unlock the door because the holidays make us reflective," said Wolfrom. "And some years have more positives than negatives, and vice versa." Six Findlay and area churches will be hosting these special services this year. The first Blue Christmas service at St. Andrew's United Methodist Church was held in 2009, said associate pastor, the Rev. Cathy Davis. The service was discontinued after several years then reestablished in 2021, just in time to take another break during the pandemic. This will be the third year since the services have returned. As a token, the woman of St. Andrew's have made blue prayer shawls for those who attend the service, this year scheduled Dec. 18. First Presbyterian Church is holding a Longest Night service on Dec. 21, which is the first day of winter. The hourlong service will feature contemplative holiday music with self-guided prayer time. People may come and go as they wish. The church will be lit by candles, and those attending can come forward and light a candle if they wish. St, Andrew's, Howard United Methodist, College First Church of God and Good Shepherd in Benton Ridge all conduct service that are more structured. "For quite some time, we would haAve Advent vesper services for each Sunday evening, minus the cantata weekend, on the Sunday evenings of Advent," said the Rev. David Welker, pastor of worship & lay activities at College First church. The last several years, the service has been a structured full liturgy, he noted. "It's really more a proclamation of hope," said Welker. The service used to be scheduled on the first Sunday of Advent because that's the Sunday of Hope, he said. "So much of the holiday season has become commercialized and consumer-focused that there's just this 'I'll never be able to give all that I want to give, I'll never be able to have all that I want to have' versus that proclamation of hope," said Wolfrom. Howard UM held its first Blue Christmas service last year, according to Marianne Higley, a certified lay minister. "We had 15 people there, but it was 15 people that wanted to be there," she said. The church put out flyers to let people who might be interested know about the service. "People felt it was going to be the dark side of a funeral so they didn't come. But the ones that did come enjoyed it immensely," she said. When Higley and Lead Pastor Gay Blau heard that there was a group of churches that shared publicity for their Blue Christmas services, Howard came onboard. Wolfrom is not affiliated with any of the churches. Her involvement comes from offering grief support services and programs in the community through agencies like Family Resource Center and the Hancock County Board of Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Services. She said this fellowship may help people realize they're not alone — that others feel like you do. "It's the start of a new year, but what does the new year really mean?" said Wolfrom. "I think that's the thing about Blue Christmas. It's focused around the shortest day of the year because the very next day you gain another minute of light. And in Ohio, we know how dark Ohio can get and we know how cold Ohio can get. So just having that fellowship around that shortest, coldest day — although it's not always the coldest anymore — is wonderful." "If you need hope, if you need fellowship, if you need support, these are the services taking place that may help," she said. Each service will be different and take place on different days, times and locations. • Dec. 18 — Howard United Methodist Church, 220 Cherry St., 4 p.m.; St. Andrew's United Methodist Church, 120 W. Sandusky St., 7 p.m. • Dec. 21 — St. John's Lutheran Church, 1701 Tiffin Ave., 5 p.m.; First Presbyterian, 2330 S. Main St., 6 p.m.; College First Church of God, 1100 N. Main St., 6 p.m.; Good Shepherd Church, 119 Main St., Benton Ridge, 7 p.m. All services are free and open to everyone. Questions can be answered by contacting the churches directly.